I was sitting here in bed writing one of the content pieces while #4son watches Boomerang Zoo and I remembered something about last night. We were about to smoke that last joint (speaking of joints- I wish lil'brother would rise up off the couch and go about his business. Id like to smoke a joint but cant while he is here. wont be arty to sending him back to the big house. although I'm sure he will do that all on his own and quite soon).
But we were laying here and hubby starts to kiss me. ok, whatever, I could stand a little affection but his breath smelled like cigarettes and he smelled like sweat. I pulled away a bit and he says "Why don't we just lay around and cuddle?"
I said nothing but I thought to myself..."Who does he think he's married to? I have never, ever in my life just laid around and cuddled. Never. Not even when we were brand new. And I had quite an infatuation for him then- he of the 18 year old loins and big brown eyes. Looked pretty damn good to 28 year old me. Damn I robbed the cradle. Now- 12 years later I wonder if I shouldn't have just stayed waiting tables at waffle house and following Anthony Dalton around like he hung the moon.

Shit- even my hindsight isn't 20/20

Back to the grindstone...I'm hungry but don't want to take the time to stop and eat. Is that dedication or desperation?

Hmmm....
where to begin...

I remember writing here yesterday. I stressed and worried and had a series of tiny little anxiety attacks all day yesterday.

Darling hubby went to work. That did not, however, alleviate my stress. Since he wrecked my car last week I have nothing and I'm afraid he will leave it at that. He also has a broken leg and I'm not sure how much money he will be bringing in to fill these bills. He had a phone call yesterday from someone else pissed off that he owes them money. Supposedly he was painting a fellows truck and never did it. Now the guy says he is filing a report on him today.

He went to jail when he wrecked the car but a bondsman let him out for nothing. I had to sign. I thought for sure he would be leaving for a while and I wanted so badly to call Terry. Good thing I didn't.

I cleaned house and wasted a lot of time on the computer yesterday. I did hit my deadline for the apartment website. Wrote my remaining articles and input them into the system. Took all day but I did do it.

Frank came by and woke up little brother. He showered and left and I didn't see him again till this morning when he came in and went to sleep on the couch. He was supposed to leave with hubby to get introduced to a new possible employer. Sleeping on the couch currently...

Dad called yesterday... just remembered that...someone must have called and told him hubby wrecked the car because he must have asked me a hundred times if everything was ok. Fine, I said, just fine. Its my car I don't think he needs to know. He said that he might not come back. He loves to do this shit. He went to clean up after Katrina and was gone for months till mom got cancer. Ike may have been my best friend if it keeps him away from here. Of course there is that sick bitch Lisa he's been screwing around with (since BEFORE mom died). How long will he stay away from her? Ew... next subject...

Keven west came by again last night. Hubby had come home from work and we were in the bedroom smoking our last joint. We have this huge ball of hash and he sliced a piece off and threw that in the bong. He was babying that leg and talking about work and I was tapping away on the laptop trying to squeeze those articles in before I had to finsih dinner for the curtain climbers. I heard the knock on the door and it was keven; all swaggering and smelling like 100proof. He brought this dirty little poodle in with him. I hate when people do that.
He comes in and says- will you weigh out this ounce for me. I say ok and he follows me to the bedroom. James breaks the oz up into quarters and then ends up buying his leftover sack of 6 grams for like 15 bucks. I thought it was stupid. Keven had given us a huge bud for doing it and all he had was $30 to begin with. This is a perfect example of what he does to sabotage us completely.

Keven left, I finished my work and started some of todays (three content articles and a piece on headlice for the local paper). Hubby took a shower and we smoked a joint and went to bed. Ah yes, a day in the life of a redneck princess. Heavenly... Don't hate...appreciate!

Lets see...what happened yesterday? This recent bout of amnesia really bothers me. Hubby says that he doesn't remember things he's just said and I shouldn't feel bad. He reminded me of how his father used to jokingly say he was sick with CRS. When people would ask "OHNO! What is CRS?" He'd slap his knee and laugh and spit "Cant Remember Shit!" out between droplets of Milwaukee's Best.

But still, I cant remember shit, all jokes aside. I hope its just stress related.

So, back to yesterday.
hm...

Hubby and #2son went to work yesterday morning. Son needing money to pay his cell phone bill. My youngest brother had slept on the couch that night. I woke to find him crashed out next to daughter#2. He slept till 11 and jumped up. He's been working at the fair and UncleM needs him back on the job. Fair pulls out today so we'll see if he needs to leave again this morning.

I took the kids to the fair Friday. I was standing near the kiddie Ferris wheel and daughter2 turns and points to the lady standing next to me. "I know her!" she yell/giggles. "Yes you do!" says the lady. No one fills me in however. But she does turn to me and start to talk with me about school functions and activities; "Did you go to Open House? It is so important. You really must go each year" on and on she went...
I wondered what its like to be a parent like that. So fucking excited over open house at the elementary school. I go to PTA, I go to MOMS Club, I go to teacher conferences and holiday plays but I lack that giddy, freaked out joy this lady had bubbling out of her every pore. I looked at her sun blond hair and bright blue eyes. She even had a yellow ribbon in her hair. I shit you not. It was the same shade as her baby doll T and Capri's. So sweet. I glanced down at my fringe legged bell bottom blue jeans and paisley halter top. My dark hair was wadded up in a not and had a pencil running through it that I found in the car. Sigh... I am sadly lacking....

So...back to yesterday...

Spent the day alone with the kids. I cooked (or recooked) chicken soup and a pot of beans and cornbread and a pineapple upside down cake.

KevenW came by to see if I could sell weed for him or loan him $5. No and no.
He left.

terry called. Sigh... I didn't answer it.
Leeann called, I didn't answer it.

I worked on my blogs and little else.

I still have this weird rash popping up everywhere. If I take the benedryl it will go away for a little while. But then it comes back.

I have a lot of work to do. I have deadlines Monday and to much work to fit all in. Sigh...I'm a slacker. I'm an underachiever.

If you have stumbled upon this little blog I feel for you.
I do really.

This is a piece of shit, quite literally. Not meant to impress, educate or enthrall.

I have discovered in recent months that my memory is for shit.
I wonder silently if I am about to have early onset Alzheimer's.
If so, Ill be glad I kept this little daily reminder of what happens each day.

Sadly, however, I wont care what happens in any instance if I have Alzheimer's. My family may not be happy Ive left this little missal. But- c est la vie. They love me for my honesty. (right?)

And so again, let me reiterate- if you have run across this blog on accident it is in the best interest of your boredom level and state of sanity to leave now.

If you stay, so be it. You may not have a life and so be my guest to meddle in mine. Just don't say I didn't warn you.